Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
