marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
