i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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