Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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