her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
