i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
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Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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