I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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