I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
