Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
