I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize