I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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