Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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