i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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