took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
