I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
