I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
