I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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