I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
