the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
