I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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