So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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