if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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