when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
