She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
