well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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