She's JV to your varsity
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Randomize
