Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Where did you get a picture of my penis
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
