I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
