I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
