if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
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