I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
