You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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