1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
