but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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