After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
