Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You've changed since you got that strap on
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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