Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
no you cant smoke seaweed
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
