Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize