She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
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