i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
