My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
