Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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