He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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