The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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