Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
