More tranny stories later!
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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