If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
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i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize