No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
