ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize