we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I could make wine with my vomit
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
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I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
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i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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