I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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