Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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