she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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