We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
