awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
