i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
