you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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