I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
