Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
