i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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