I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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