We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Randomize