I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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