I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Randomize
