Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
