Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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