Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
They have beer where we have blood.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
