i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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