Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
