I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
